there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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