Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(206): View more from Washington

Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.

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(206): Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend. http://tfl.nu/38e6

Replies (2) Good night (2018) Bad night (548) Order T-Shirt
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(650): View more from California

my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah

(415): View more from California

and she bought it?!?

(650): View more from California

yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes

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(650): my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah (415): and she bought it?!? (650): yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes http://tfl.nu/zwxp

Replies (28) Good night (8116) Bad night (614)
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(231): View more from Michigan

My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.

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(231): My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride. http://tfl.nu/hbyc

Replies (22) Good night (705) Bad night (4260) Order T-Shirt
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(206): View more from Washington

On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...

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(206): On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on... http://tfl.nu/5u5y

Replies (19) Good night (4129) Bad night (523) Order T-Shirt
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(765): View more from Indiana

I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.

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(765): I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan. http://tfl.nu/88ss

Replies (182) Good night (1259) Bad night (4085) Order T-Shirt
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(973): View more from New Jersey

so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement

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(973): so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement http://tfl.nu/oky4

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(803): View more from South Carolina

we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper

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(803): we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper http://tfl.nu/mqbh

Replies (13) Good night (5396) Bad night (1803)
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(310): View more from California

LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.

(310): View more from California

And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.

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(310): LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers. (310): And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow. http://tfl.nu/mkft

Replies (26) Good night (4079) Bad night (1146)
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(804): View more from Virginia

my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2

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(804): my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2 http://tfl.nu/hna9

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(786): View more from Florida

It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...

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(786): It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries... http://tfl.nu/iebn

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(310): View more from California

Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face

(310): View more from California

On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?

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(310): Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face (310): On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people? http://tfl.nu/ezwy

Replies (6) Good night (1930) Bad night (578)
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(415): View more from California

Feeling better?

(720): View more from Colorado

I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.

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(415): Feeling better? (720): I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day. http://tfl.nu/80q2

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(501): View more from Arkansas

eta to your mouth 5 minutes

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(501): eta to your mouth 5 minutes http://tfl.nu/vxef

Replies (6) Good night (1169) Bad night (389)
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(734): View more from Michigan

my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW

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(734): my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW http://tfl.nu/rle5

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(540): View more from Virginia

I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal

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(540): I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal http://tfl.nu/b5ht

Replies (1) Good night (418) Bad night (173) Order T-Shirt

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