First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize