The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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