so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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