I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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