Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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