Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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