By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize