The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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