my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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