it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize