Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize