**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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