Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
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He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
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Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Pooping to opera.
Randomize