her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize