I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
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i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
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Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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