his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
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