It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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