Well douche your snatch and let's go!
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize