I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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