Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told grandpa to call you daddy
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize