He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize