Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
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we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
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You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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