Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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