Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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