I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
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i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
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We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
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