I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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