i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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