I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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