if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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