I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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