walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
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