kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be right there i have to get my cape
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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