This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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