So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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