You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize