The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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