but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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