when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
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I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
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I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
We are all done wearing pants today
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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