oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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