youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i barfeds in our rink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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