Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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