So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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