..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize