why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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