I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
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i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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