why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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