I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize