3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
actually, I'm a sock model
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize